The jokes

Gorilla

Who is the gorilla's favorite president of the most recent years? It's Hairy Truman.

Orphan

Why can orphans not get married?

They are dad can't walk them down the aisle!

Hole

Q: What was the last thing Kurt Cobain said to Courtney Love before he died?

A: “Holes gonna be big.”

Memes

Cow

Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!

Anesthesia

What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?

The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.

Pancake

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

Friend

Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.

Cow

Why did the cow cross the road? Because he was riding the chicken!

Cigarette

If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.

But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.

Food

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

Word

A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."

The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)

Way

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

Job

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?

He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.

Orphan

Why can’t an orphan go on the field trip?

Answer: They don’t have a parent’s signature.

Tesla

What’s the difference between a pile of babies and a Tesla?

I don’t have a Tesla in my garage.