The jokes
What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?
When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Your hairline is so far back that it killed the dinosaurs.
Why do orphans only have 363 days of the year?
Because they don't have a Mother's and Father's Day.
Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.
What did the tree do to the emo?
He left him hanging.
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
Me and Billy Bob the 1st, Billy Bob the 2nd, and Billy Bob 4th Jr. were all in the Twin Towers.
Are you Spanish, because I will say "Hola."
Do you go to a biblioteca? Also, in Spanish, you will never guess the word "biblioteca." Find it, I dare you.
What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!
I got sent to the principal's office today because I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and screamed, "HOT WHEELS!"
Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
Your hairline looks like the Batman symbol.
Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!
Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?
It was the Happy Meal.