The jokes
What's the difference between a McDonald's and the Twin Towers?
McDonald's has a drive-thru.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
Me: "The villain has a point, you know."
Everyone else watching the WW2 documentary:
Bobby had 54 dicks (54).
He took 33 pills a month (5433).
Once he ran out of pills, he was left with 45 dicks (543345).
(Flip the calculator once you got the full number. 543345! He's got a lot!
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Who can jump the highest?
Emos, some of them are still falling.
You know what I said to the chair? "Sit!" But it didn't move. Hahaha!
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Seeing so many balding college students is so sad. Like, why the fuck is your hairline graduating before you?!?
These jokes have a good build up, but in the end, they all come crashing down.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.
Who are the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims; they went through 91 stories in 11 seconds.
Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?
What's the difference between a Baptist and a rapist? The priests.
Why were her hands purple?
She heard it through the grapevine.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Twin Towers?
The Leaning Tower of Pisa has better reflexes.
How do you make an emo mad at you?
Cut the rope.