The jokes
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
I got my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. He came back a week later and said it was the most violent book he’s ever read.
Can't wait to meet you!
So join the Depression family!
We open real soon!
Try best to hold onto sanity!
What is the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie-talkie? He doesn't walkie or talkie.
Sonic can run around the world in a second.
In that same time, Chuck Norris can run around the Universe.
Memes
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
The teacher told me to put my MP3 away, so I brought out my MP5. Now that bitch knows what not to tell me.
Why does the ice cream have so many friends?
Because he’s cool.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
What was the pedophile charged with when he was arrested? A minor offense.
So, I just got kicked out of the orphanage library for putting a book about parents in the fiction section.
What’s the difference between a child and a suicider?
One stays quiet forever...
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
An orphanage got robbed yesterday. Let's just say that's the second worst thing to happen to those orphans. At least they didn't end up like their parents.
How many emos does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just sit in the dark and cry.
Why does the blonde stand in a corner when she's cold?
Because it's 90 degrees.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."