The jokes

Yo momma's so short that she fell off the toilet and broke her leg.

Yo mama so fat that when she was on the moon, she had it sent right into the abyss of outer space.

This bitch won't message me anymore, what the fuck do I do? Why are bitches so sensitive?

Boyfriend: "Babe, are you traffic police?"

Girlfriend: "No."

Boyfriend: "Then why do you shout at me for not wearing a helmet?"

"Death to the west!"

Women be like chivalry is dead, then don't say thank you when you open the door for them.

Why are basketball courts slippery?

Because the players dribble on it.

My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.

We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?

"I'm so crazy in love..."

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

Guys, I'm back...

Here's my joke:

What is blue and red all over?

Blood in the water of a shark attack victim.

What store is the most public?

Publix!

What do you call a Mexican who can’t find the bar?

Barlos.

What does one emo kid say to the other?

"I like your cuts, G."

Why do orphans hate the letter FMD? Because F stands for "family," M stands for "mom," and D stands for "dad."

I was in Afghanistan and I had been captured by the Taliban. I was going to get the death penalty.

Suddenly a man came out of nowhere and offered to take the penalty. It was my idolo Penaldo. He missed the penalty. Now I will die. Shame on u Penaldo!

I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."