Why did Logan Paul go to the suicide forest?
To see who's hanging around.
Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."
Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."
Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."
Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."
Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
what do you call a group of emos?... The Suicide Squad.
How many fingers am I holding up?
Said the suicide bomber, referring to the countdown.
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?
Friend 2: Pizza.
Friend 3: Donuts.
Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.
Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)
Friend 2: (Calling the parents)
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
The suicide squad.
I called the suicide hotline, and he suggested I draw on myself to distract myself.
I replied I'd get ink poisoning.
Wouldn't recommend, the police came.
My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline.
The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me," a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that," Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What is an emo's favourite movie? The suicide squad
Me: what do you call 4 depressed kids
my friend: what?
me: the suicide squad
I can't believe the suicide hotline put my cousin on hold. They left him hanging
