The Suicide

The Suicide jokes

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Life

  • Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

    Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

    Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

    Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

    Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

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    Therapist

  • I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."

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    Dad

  • My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

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  • Suicide

  • [Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

    [Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

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    Kid

  • Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.

    Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!

    A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.

    What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.

    What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.

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    Bleach

  • Friend 1: What's your favorite drink or food?

    Friend 2: Pizza.

    Friend 3: Donuts.

    Friend 4: I don't eat food but I do drink bleach.

    Friend 1: (calling the suicide hotline)

    Friend 2: (Calling the parents)

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    Suicide

  • My mom tells me to stop with the suicide jokes, and I replied with, "It's not that deep."

    Guy

  • What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?

    What did the suicidal guy say to his audience?