Terrorism jokes

I would like to thank my favorite President Barack Obama. Sorry, Barack Obama and my uncle Obama bin Laden. I mean Osama bin Laden. Sorry, hummus in my throat.

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

How do you scare a lot of people in New York?

Open a mobile hotspot named "Delta Inflight Wifi."

What did Al-Shehhi say to Mohamed Atta?

"We are on time!"

What was the first thing that went through the 9/11 victims' heads?

Their ankles.

How many terrorists does it take to tile a roof?

It depends on how thin you slice them.

Get pranked, bozo!

What do you call a Muslim with Tourette’s? A ticcing time bomb.

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

Kid 1: Guys, stop making 9/11 jokes. My dad died in 9/11.

Kid 2: Sorry, I didn't know.

Kid 1: He was the best fighter pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.

The biggest inconvenience in 2001, I thought, was my brother. Turns out it was 9/11. I guess the planes saw him be born and died from how ugly he was. Aluh aluckbar.

One thing is for sure, the victims from 9/11 died warm.

I'd tell you a 9/11 joke, but it'd fly over your head and into the Twin Towers.

What game did Al-Qaeda play with the Twin Towers on September 11th, 2001? Jenga.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, they got excited and asked if I could drive a plane.

Watching the 9/11 documentaries, just watching a kill cam.

At 5 years old, I already knew how to throw paper airplanes thanks to my Arabian relatives!

Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.

A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."