Tending jokes
Isn't it ironic that the actually nice people tend to be suicidal?
Think about it: suicide exists to make sure bad people bother each other instead.
What do planes and offices have in common?
They both tend to cross paths at the wake of disaster.
(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)
MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?
BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!
MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?
BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!
MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?
BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.
MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.
BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!
(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)
MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!
Why don't booties get invited to parties?
They tend to CRACK people up!
It isn't funny to joke about 9/11. The jokes tend to crash and burn.
I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.
Short people tend to get angry easily...
'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...
I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.
Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?
A: They tend to crash and burn.