Tending jokes

Q: You want to know why I don’t make jokes about 9/11?

A: They tend to crash and burn.

I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great, but when I tell them to others, they tend to crash and burn.

I tend to think my ‘depression’ is for attention. I guess I have depressed depression.

Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.

I don't like Twin Tower jokes. They always tend to crash and burn.

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

I don't usually like to tell 9/11 jokes for two reasons: they're morally wrong, and they tend to crash and burn.

Why don't booties get invited to parties?

They tend to CRACK people up!

It isn't funny to joke about 9/11. The jokes tend to crash and burn.

Short people tend to get angry easily...

'Cause they're so close to the ground, their anger doesn't dissipate easily...