What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?
After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?
Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...
Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
I donโt see why emo kids donโt like to hang around.
I see them hang all day.
The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.
I wish my grass was emo, then it would cut itself.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."
Brian has a crush on a cute girl, Sally, from school, so he goes and tells his dad about her, and he says, "Sorry, son, you can't like her; she is your sister." So Brian is okay with it, and he starts to like another girl, Madison, and he goes up to his dad and says, "I have a crush on this girl, Madison," and again the dad goes, "Oh, sorry, son, you can't like any girl in school; they are all your sisters." So he goes crying to his mom and says, "Dad said I can't like any girl because they are all my sisters," and the mom goes, "Oh, it's okay; you can like any girl you want because he is not your dad."
Iโd like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
why did the emo kid try high five the tree
so it can hang him
This kid lost Kahoot, so he shot up the school.
A teenage guy is taking a girl to a dance. First, he goes to buy her flowers, but thereโs a really long line at the florist. Finally, he buys them.
Then, he goes to rent a tux, but thereโs a really long line for that, too. After a few hours, he gets the tux.
That night, he picks up the girl and they go to the school for the dance. Thereโs a long line to get in that goes halfway around the school. A while later, they finally get in. They dance and talk for a while, then the guy gets thirsty, so he goes over to the table to get punch. There is no punch line.
I've heard stories of my mother. She was a teenager and left me in the blender, but luckily the power cut out, like at the orphanage.
What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?
Suicide Squad.
