Teenager jokes

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.

when you see a depressed kid, you walk up and say "wassup my lil barcode"

God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.

Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."

What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?

School shooter.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?

Acne waits until you're 13 to come on your face.

What does Jeffrey tell his white teens?

You want to take it orally or through anal? Joke, I'm not asking.

What do you call a group of Emo kids?

Suicide Squad.

What jumps and never let's go?

An Emo kid.

I bet all Emos want to be like their biggest influencers some day.

Dead.

Why do Emos want to be the "Scene" these days?

The only thing I've "Scene" from them is their suicide rate climbing, it's starting to climb quicker than they did to get to the top of whatever they jumped off.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

Some girl just walks into my 6th period geography class. The first thing I think is, "Oh shit! It's mini Regina George without titties!"

When there's no piñata at the party, but the emo kid just hung himself.

When I get home from school, I always lay on my floor crying and wishing I was dead.

Ayo Lucas, a sussy baka!

What is an emo kid's favorite song?

"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.

Why couldn't the emo kid hang himself?

After eating through his feelings, the belt wouldn't fit around his neck.

When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...