Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
Why can't orphans fail a test?
Because the teacher is gonna ask their parents to sign it.
Your hairline goes so far back my history teacher was surprised.
So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.
We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.
Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.
Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?
So, one day in 3rd grade, I was making this art piece and I was talking about my friend that was a boy that I have known for 5 years. But then, the other boy at my table named Coen Jones shouted, "NO! I'M THE ONLY BOYFRIEND YOU CAN HAVE!" As soon as I heard all that, the teacher and the rest of our class was shocked while our table was just laughing their butts off, but laughed so hard, I fell out of my chair!
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.
It's funny how teachers are supposed to educate new lives, but only teach certain kids how much they want to commit suicide and how many ways there are.
My homework was to watch as much porn as I can... and tell my teacher the details so he won't get in trouble for watching it during class.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
Why did the orphan cry to the teacher? Because they have no one else.
Why are history teachers always women? Because they like to bring up the past.
I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.
Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."
What do you call a teacher who never farts in public? A private tutor.
Teacher: "Hey, James, this is the third time I asked you a question!"
James: "But you told me not to answer you back!"
