Teacher jokes
I wasn’t understanding what I had to do for homework, so my teacher said, “Let me break it down for you like the Twin Towers.”
Why did the school go remote?
Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."
"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!
2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.
3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.
4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......
5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.
6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!
7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.
8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS
Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.
Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______
New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.
Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.
Teacher: Jeff, why did you throw a paper plane at the twins?
Jeff: You wouldn't get it, miss.
Teacher: Everyone, tomorrow is bring your mom to school day.
Me: Sorry but my mom's not gonna make it.
Teacher: Why?
Me: I'm an orphan, bitch.
Teacher: This assignment is big.
Student (male): I have something that's big.
Teacher: Yeah, your forehead.
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says, "Leave, motherfucker."
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
Some weird kid came into school today with his tagging gun. He tagged my friend really good. At the end, he tagged 12 students and 1 teacher. VICTORY ROAYAL ✌