What has 30 legs but can't swim? A bus full of children!
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim and they had no life jackets. Doo Da suddenly started yelling, " I got one boys! '' as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way to large for him to get onto the boat and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock, but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da. Upon arriving at her house, they did rock paper scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell, again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, " I've been trying to call Doo Da and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, " We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we morn Doo Da today.''
me: Ice women diary: a witch's tin key-other: what? you said"I swim in diarrhoea, which is stinky?
My asked for a swimming pool so I got him a ant 🐜🐜🐜 pool
Why did sally fall off the swing? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally drop a broom? ́why’ cus she had no arms Why did sally go swimming? she didn’t like not having arms Knock knock ́who’s there ́ Not sally, she hasn’t come back yet
A dolphin swims into a bar, and looks at the menu. He calls the bartender and orders a pint of ginger-whale.
do depressed people hate swimming. They hate it because they are already drowning in their depression but they love it cus it might make all their dreams come true
i went in a swim in the river that crosses mexico and i seen a mexican aka a wet back swimming across i ask he said imma wetback
What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin
Which country can swim?
Finland. Get it? Fin Land?
A guy was doing bad things and died and went to hell.Demon: why you sad
Guy: I’m in hell can’t u see
Demon: will we have fun here at hell
Guy: really nice
Demon: we do sleeping in on Mondays
GuY:OoOoOo
Demon: Tuesdays we swim in out lava or dive in fire if u die you’re already dead ☠️
Guy: ok dose that meean I’m a ghost
Demon: no ur not a ghost
Demon:Wednesdays we do a dance party and smoke and drink 🍺
Guy: ooooooo i can’t wait 😜
Demon: Thursdays we drink all day until we throw up and die and ur already dead remember that
Guy: ok but I am dead and if I die again I was already dead right?
Demon: yup.
Demon: I have a question are you gay and do you like kissing fire girls and if u die u are already dead
Guy: Ummm I am not gay and I don’t like kissing fire girls 😱😱😱
Demon:then u won’t like Friday or Saturday or Sunday heheh.
Guy: I’m dead for real in the hell🪦🏴☠️☠️☠️💀
Hell helll helll R.I.P hell is gone for now
Jack and Jill went up the hill to go and swim in some shit jack forgot to bring some goggles and floaty and now they have a daughter
Secret Jill didn’t go in the shit yet jack went in first and died :D
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forward, they'd still be on the boat.
titanic. doing the polar plunge before it was cool.
Did you know the Titanic swimming pool is still full?
So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"
Q:What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common? A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warms up after a few strokes
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dived to save it, he said he always dives for pens.
Hey My sister said your Mattick so I decided to to swim with her and she threw a ball at me so I went to my dad and she said why did you tell dad she was crying. Because I’m not getting a car seat
