Your so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near
I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
I'm no an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.
I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
Why does Mao Zedong like the east coast? Because there is a red Sun in the sky
you call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away
your hair line goes so far back you have to wear sun screan
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Chuck Norris can toss Jupiter at the Sun with his bare hands.
And he still cannot win a fighting match against Bruce Lee.
βIf we donβt have a strategy, then the enemy will never know our strategy.β
-Sun Tzu, Art of War.
If you want to win swiftly, camp the enemies spawnβ - Sun Tzu
βA foolish man is lactose intolerant, A wise man simply tolerates itβ - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
You may not rest, there are monsters nearbyβ
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
Warning, All unsaved progress will be lost." - Sun Tzu, The Art of war
βRemember switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading.β - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"Jesus can turn water into wine,but I can turn your mother into mine " -Sun Tzu the art of creating war
βIf two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winnerβ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
You can drink drinks but you can't food foods" -Sun Tzu, The art of food
Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life.β -Sun Tzu
