guys don’t let nobody hurt you with words like someone once said sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
These three men wanted to start a band one had the idea to call them the rolling stones, one wanted to call them the veggies the other said lets be the cripples as they all rolled away
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
you should never try afgani weed becuse people in afganistan get stoned to death
What’s Stephen Hawking’s favourite band? The Rolling Stones.
What do you call a couple mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Teacher makes 1 kid recite the abcs and the other count to 10. Teacher: you can kill 2 birds with1 stone. Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head. Johnny at school: you can kill a bird and give a man a concusssion.
What do you call a stoned kid with down syndrome
A baked potato
Yo mama so ugly that she turned Medusa to stone.
what do you call a stoned mexican
Baked bean
Yo mama so strict that thanos couldn't collect the infinity stones until he had to do his homework.
What does RIP stand for on Maddies head stone? Raped in Portugal !
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
Girls are like stones
The flat ones get skipped
Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games. Suddenly they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running, the other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?". The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."
Your hairline goes so far back I remember seeing it in the stone age.