What do you call a smart blonde?
Nonexistent.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Jake, tommy, and mike were adopted. Jake got adopted, tommy got adopted and mike. Mike grew up to be a office worker. So you get a new job, and here something about this guy named mike, The next day you go into the office and mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and Rainbows and stuff, then, a co-worker comes up and says “No one told you mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY!!
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
What has two wings and a halo?
A Chinese telephone. Wing-wing Halo?
An American and an Asian walk into a bar. What are your names? the bartender asks. The American says, "William Matthews." The Asian says, "Same Ting."
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
I can only fit three fingers inside the bowling ball.
When the school shooter finally leaves your classroom, but then the autistic kid next to you's sketchers light up.
A recent study has found that beer contains female hormones.
A test group of 100 male volunteers each consumed six pints of beer, and the effect was they all talked endlessly about nothing and couldn’t drive for shit.
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"
Name something you practiced kissing on as a kid.
Sister. SWEET HOME ALABAMA!
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.
The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.
The French salute starts with your hands in the air.
The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.
Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
The cabinet had sleeping pills.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
