These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he wanted to get drunk? The Genius Bar.
Stephen Hawking never wrote a book... it was a Dragon who was naturally speaking.
What happened the night Stephen Hawking came home wasted?
Nothing... wife couldn’t tell.
Stephen Hawking tried joining some music bands, but all of them rejected him... except Daft Punk.
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
I met him once, but he wouldn’t give me his autograph!
Stephen Hawking's death was purely accidental. He clicked “shut-down” instead of “sleep”.
What did Stephen Hawking say on the stairway to heaven?
Oh, fuck! I can’t get up them.
I heard Microsoft got charged, why?
They couldn’t reboot Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
Why does Stephen Hawking have the voice of an angel?
Because no one has ever heard an angel talk.
Number 1 ventriloquist dies at age 76, will be mist.
Now that Stephen Hawking is dead, the jokes will start to roll in just like he used to.
Who did Stephen call when he crashed?... The geek squad.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?
Dribble.
What does Stephen King call his wife...
The black hole.
In about ten days, Stephen Hawking's wheelchair is going to have its first and last service.
Stephen Hawking missed assembly this morning.
For one of the most highly regarded minds on the planet, it is a shame he could not create a longer-lasting battery.
