Sports Jokes

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

Why were the Twin Towers afraid of the New York Jets?

Because they are afraid of the jet.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't find home base.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't have a home to run to.

Why can’t orphans play baseball??

Because they can’t find their way to home plate.

Kobe couldn’t clutch up with the rift to go.

Her: I love Kobe Bryant!

Me: Helicopter Helicopter

Her:.....

Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.

Why do orphans love table tennis? Because that is the only love they're getting.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where the home is.

Also, what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?

A family photo.

Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?

Because she fell into a minefield.

What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?

Badminton.

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

A day in the life of a Biden voter.

$2000 stimulus check? Nah, $1400...some day.

No more kids in cages? Nah, more kids in cages.

$15 minimum wage? Nah, $11. Maybe.

50k loan forgiveness? Nah. Lol.

No more deportations? Nah, they're still leaving.

Women's rights? Nah, dudes in women's sports.

New COVID bill? Nah, mostly bailouts and pet projects.

Cheap insulin? Nah, jack those prices up.

Defeat fascism? Nah, barbed wire fences around DC.

Why can't orphans play basketball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."

What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a sports car in my garage.

What is Stephen Hawking's favorite type of basketball?

Dribble.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.