Splatter jokes

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

My favorite sex position is the JFK. I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

New skin unlocked: Blood splatter!

(Obtained by running over 69 children.)

The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.

When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,

Then the speed bump starts screaming.

1 like = 1 more child in my blender.

What's white with black spots? A cotton field from above.

I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.

It's called "spastics on elastics."

playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.