SOS jokes

Balance

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

Helen Keller

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

Brother

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

Insult

You're so skinny you're a thin stick.

You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.

You're so ugly you got stuff for free.

You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.

You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.

You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.

Memes

Mom

Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF

Mum

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Momma

Yo momma so delusional, she thought your grandma's Venus flytrap was Audrey II.

Ghost

I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.

Tower

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?

They already lost two towers.

Momma

Yo momma so stupid that someone said, "You're not that wealthy," and she went to a doctor.

Mom

Your mom is so fat, she fell down the Grand Canyon and got stuck!