SOS jokes

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

So I was looking through my pictures and I found a picture of a random kid that took a picture of his ugly face. It looked like someone that got hit by a car, then a bus, then a semi.

That’s what I get for not having a password on my iPad.

Your mama is so stupid, when her phone died, she bared it, lol.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.

Jomama so dumb, she brung a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your forehead is so big your mum spent an extra hour in the birth delivery room.

So, I accidentally just tipped over my paralyzed sister.

Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.

When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.

Did you hear that Ted Nugent had a beer thrown at him at one of his shows?

Answer: He was okay. It was a draft, so he dodged it easily!

Yo mama so stupid, she thought Sodapop Curtis was actual soda.

Yo mama so ugly that when she watches "The Outsiders," they become "The Insiders."

Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"

Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?

Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.

Your forehead is so big, I thought it was Mount Chiliad.

Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

Why are orphans so bad at baseball?

Because they don’t know where home is.

You're so ugly, when you put makeup on, it makes you look like a clown.

You're in Australia. Your forehead is the reason why Africa is so hot.