SOS jokes
Your forehead is so big, it's bigger than a school!
Your mom so ugly that Paul Walker died.
Yo momma so gay, she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay!
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
My mom was poor, so we had nothing to eat. I slept on the floor, but now I'm rich, rich, rich π
Memes
Yo mama so ugly Joe Biden was jelly.
My friend said, "Dude, if you don't put your desk in line with the column, you're gay." So he did it, and I said, "Well, I guess now he's straight." ;D
Your momma is so fat, when she gets done having sex she rolls over and smokes a ham.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
I was looking forward to some toast...
So I took the toaster in the bath with me.
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
So I'm a cow, guess what my dad thinks of that? He says I'm a loooosmer.
Why are you gay? Because I said so!
Ever wonder why pride month is so hot?
It's just a free trial of what's to come for the celebrators...
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
The person I hate: Omg, my mom and dad just died.
Me: Omg, I am so sorry, don't worry.
The person I hate: I have a boyfriend.
Me: Well, I have a mom and dad.
The person I hate: Rood.
Me: Shut up.
One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"
His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."
The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."
One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
Why was the sea so friendly? Because it gave a little wave.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.