If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
SOS Jokes
Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.
So, if being a paedophile is a career, then burying the bodies must be gardening.
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
I saw a trophy in my sister's room. So I said congratulations on your cheer leading. My sister said I didn't win the trophy for cheer leading, so I asked why. My sister said I won because I give the best jobs.
I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.
Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Yo mama's so stupid, she frickin' died at the Super Bowl!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
Yo mama was so fat that she jumped so hard, and the earth started shaking like an earthquake.
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.
One day, this dad and his son went to a basketball factory, and the son said, "I want to buy some balls." The dad said, "What for?" The son said, "So you can have some balls."
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Yo mama so fat that Hannibal Lecter couldn't eat her up.
There was a man in a tower, and the other man thought it was a girl, so he said, "Let down your long hair." He said, "OK, I will let my big, super long, hairy penis down for you to climb and suck." Then the other man said, "If you have such a long dick, suck it yourself. See ya, b*tch."
Two rabbits were racing. Neither could get ahead, so they ended in a hare-tie!
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
