Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
SOS Jokes
"The only way I'd want to be reincarnated is if I can be reincarnated as a man," said the young woman.
"Why?" said her friend.
"Oh, I don't know, just men are so cool,"
"Is that the only reason?" said her friend.
"Maybe........" said the young woman. "Maybe."
Someone asked me if I was a good sleeper. I told them I'm so good that I can do it with my eyes closed.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
Stephen could not click the "I'm not a robot" button, so I guess he is fucked.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-
Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.
Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
How did the toilet react when it received a gift?
That was so pot full (thoughtful)!
This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?
Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."
So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"
Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.
Yo mama so stupid!
She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!
