SOS jokes

Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.

Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.

My friend thinks he is funny.

He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

Friend: Hey, did you catch that game last night? I did, it was so good! After that I went to Kane’s, because Kane's is amazing! What did you do this weekend? I did-

Me: Dude, are you the Terms and Conditions? Because I don’t give a fuck about what you say.

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.

I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.

So I ended up doing the YMCA.

Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"

Also me: "Throw it."

How did the toilet react when it received a gift?

That was so pot full (thoughtful)!

This is a big joke, so yeah, you can't tell me what to do. This joke is funny, so laugh, okay?

Now that you're done laughing, let me say a joke... Get it? There was no joke! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhaha lololol so funny, I'm ninja!

Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.

Person 1 says to Person 2: "I know a man with a wooden leg named Smith."

So Person 2 says to Person 1: "What's the name of his other leg?"

Yo mama so fat, she needs 500,000 calories a day to keep her fueled.

Yo mama so stupid!

She bought a spoon... TO THE SUPERBOWL!

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.

Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought that fruit punch was a boxer.

I did a walk today, but it was so much better, and a walk home. I had dinner. Night was good fun at home. Night was good night. I was a little off, but you were so fun to be a night.

Yo mama so nice she...

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.