SOS jokes

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

So a man asked another man, "What's your name?"

He says, "What's it to ya?"

So the guy asked again, "And he says what's it to ya?"

Come to find out his name was What's It To Ya.

So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?

My dad and I were talking and my cat left the room.

So I said, "I guess she wasn't feline it."

My dad said, "You've got to be kitten me, that was purrfect!"

I said, "Literally."

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

So you know "The Lion King."

Do you remember Simba?

Well, his dad is really strong, and he walks really fast, but Simba walks really slow.

So I told him to Mufasa.

Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"

So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...

Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Your mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Your so broke your mom can't afford your daddy.

About to go on a date.

But she was late.

So I got some tape.

And eventually punished her with rape.