SOS jokes

Yo hairline so far back, it goes back to Jesus on the cross!

My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

You know why women wear tampons?

So the crabs could bungee jump!

Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.

Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!

Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.

If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.

Yo mama so fat, they had to give her a license plate.

Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.

It’s so sad because Stephen Hawking can’t even stand up for himself after all these mean jokes.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9. So what was 10 scared of? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

Your mom's so fat, she don't need to be worldwide, she already is.

I tell a man, "Get me a Glock 19." He comes back with a glove. I was about to shout at him, but then I saw a pistol in his pocket, so I left and thanked him.

Your mama so fat, when she put a leg in the car, the wheels deflated.

Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"

Your mom is so fat that she mains Heavy from the game Team Fortress 2!

Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.

Why do orphans go to church?

So at least they will have someone to call father.

Joe Momma so fat when Santa came down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, holy crap!"