SOS jokes

She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

Gutted rn... the girl I loved hard just got in a relationship. She liked me too so I missed the chance. Idk if she still does... man...

Yo mama so fat, she broke the stairway to heaven.

Yo daddy so stupid, he went to the HO-tel to see some hoes.

Your mom said I was ugly. I told her she couldn’t see her belly button because she was so fat. She said, “I thought I was the only one without one!”

Fat people are thirsty, so I piss in their mouth.

Your forehead [is] so big [that] every time you shout, your forehead starts pulsing.

A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I am gay, so are you.

So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.

Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?

The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.

Why is Santa so fat?

He only comes once a year.

My sister was hitting on my boyfriend. I'm 11, she's 9. She said, "Go f-ck yourself," so I said, "Okay, thanks for the idea!"

One day my pet barked at me and so I got scared and was my dad actually. It was weird, you should’ve saw him and so the day goes on because he likes to run around the house that he likes to do it out 😂😂😂😂😱

So, a blind man got run over by a car... a parked car.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

I see a poor guy. Mini me be like- mama, can I give my spare money to him? 🤗 And my mum says yes, so I give my money and home feeling SO NICE, while MY MOM knows he's going to spend it on DRUGS. We go back tomorrow and then after we go to the same place and then I see him with drugs.

Me- what I think fck what I do 😭.

A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died.

The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!"

He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something.

Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"

So a mushroom walks in a bar and the waiter says, "You can't be here."

And the mushroom says, "Why? I'm a fungi!"

You're so ugly that when you came out of the haunted house, you had a job offer.