SOS jokes

Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked at the mirror, I cracked up.

Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!

Yo mama's so fat, she's both in the Atlantic and Pacific ocean.

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

Your mama's so stupid that she went on to hike Mountain Dew...

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to smell her own nose.

This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

I was digging outside and I found my child's old toy, so I ran to find him, but I could not find him, so I was searching for about 6 hours, but then I remembered why I was digging......

Jim was caught beating a man up. Brooklyn took a picture of his license plate with her phone and told him, "Your life is ruined!" So Jim took a picture of her, and the next thing you know, he said, "Now my phone is ruined!"

Why was an oven so smart?

It had 70 degrees.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on the roof of a Walmart, it lowered the prices.

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. But, unfortunately, it just made her more upset.

She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?

Because they're good at separating colors.

Yo momma so fat, when she farted the Big Bang occurred.

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?