SOS jokes

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Yo mama is so STUPID, she thought the Rams football team were actual RAMS.

You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!

You're so fat that you cause your heart to have panic attacks.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

Yeah, so why can't a blind woman drive?

Exactly, cuz she's a woman.

Yo mamma's so fat no one was laughing, but the ground was cracking up.

Yo mama's so ugly, even the kid in the wheelchair ran.

Your hairline is so far back, even Vegeta laughed at it!

Yo mama so fat, she walked by the TV and I missed 12 episodes!

Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.

Yo mama so old, when she left the antique shop, the alarm went off.

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Me: What has two legs and bleeds?

Friend: Um, women? Obviously?

Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.