SOS jokes

Your mom is so fat, when she swam in the sea, Wales came up to her and said, "We are family, even now you’re fatter than me."

Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

Yo momma so fat, when she pulled out the chair, it screamed and broke itself.

Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.

Why is being alive so expensive? I'm not even having a good time.

When I got to school, they gave me an Acer laptop, so I went up to the teacher and aced her.

Yo momma is so ugly, she gets rejected by dead people.

When the bully says, "You're adopted," so you hit him with, "At least someone wanted me!"

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.

Why was an oven so smart?

It had 70 degrees.

Me: Mom, can I have some makeup?

Mom: No. You are beautiful just the way you are.

Me: So that’s why you wear makeup?

So I went to my friend's house and he told me to make myself at home, so I kicked him out. I don't like visitors.

Your mamma is so fat that she has a gravitational pull.

Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.

Your mom is so overweight that she broke the stairway to heaven.

Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:

Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.

Her: Really? What?

Me: Sweet-in-low.

Her: Why?

Me: Because you're artificial.

Roads be so rough in Oklahoma, I saw a high lifted truck get ended riding lower than a Hot Wheels car.

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.