SOS jokes

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama so ugly that when Hello Kitty saw her, she said, "Goodbye!"

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Yo mama so hairy that the zookeepers called a code red thinking an ape got loose.

Yo mama so fat, Zeus used her as a bowling ball.

"I work with animals," a guy says to his date.

"That's so sweet," she replies. "I love a man who cares about animals. Where do you work?"

"I'm a butcher," he replies.

If you were a room in my house, I’d make you the basement.

So I could put kids inside you.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

Yo mama so stupid, she put a battery up her a** and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"

Yo mama so fat that when she went to the fatty competition, they said no because they didn't want professionals.

(Just a joke, she's probably kind.)

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

Sam's mum is so fat, when she fell down the stairs, I thought EastEnders finished!

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

I noticed my friend's hairline yesterday. I could tell it was a Supercuts hair salon haircut, so how I could tell was 'cuz it was super alright, super lame.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".