SOS jokes

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

Yo hairline go back so far you could drive 1,000,000 miles and still not find it.

Our teacher told us to write a story about the life of an object that's not alive, so I wrote a story about an emo kid.

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.

So she gave me a hug.

Your forehead is so big, it takes the sun a year to shine on every part of it.

Yo mama is so ugly, her self-portraits hanged themselves.

Yo mama so fat.

In Super Mario Galaxy, she was a fucking planet!

Yo mama so stupid. She thought fruit punch was a gay boxer.

Yo mama so fat, even Dora couldn't explore her.

Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!

Your hairline is so far back my dad even took 48 hours to reach it.

Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.

His hairline is so ugly that Martin Luther King had a dream about it.

Why was the orphan so successful?

Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.

Your mom is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

Your hairline goes so far back even history can’t record it.

A cop pulls me over and asks if I have been drinking.

I'm an honest person and say yes, I did, so I take off my sunglasses and tell him that I now had 2 glasses less.

Your mom's so fat, when she stands on the scale, it says, "To be continued..."

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!