SOS jokes

So you're offended by midget jokes? C'mon, grow up!

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

This was a few months ago. I used to help people load and unload inventory. One day I’m driving home after having lunch with my sister, and she asked if we can stop at the next gas station. I told her, "So you can weigh yourself on the truck scale?"

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?

Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.

"Mhm... So you're gay?" -Darling

Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.

Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.

I wore a purple outfit to school, and some Indian kid called me Thanos, so I called him Vision and tried pulling the red dot off his head.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he knew how to count his bars!

So I went to the gym and I found a hymn.

I bribbled a kid and he was bribbled hem so hard that his balls came off.

My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

Man: Aw man, I'm having a bad day.

Man's friend: Same.

Man: So why did you have a bad day? My brother got hit by the school bus.

Man's friend: I got fired as a bus driver.

Man: Oh great heavens!