SOS jokes

My doctor said I need to lose calories, so I got a piece of paper, wrote "calories," and lit it on fire.

Your forehead is so big when you walk by I can't see what's in front of me.

You are so adopted that you don't have a home button on Google Maps.

A boy in nursery asked a girl out. She ran away crying in fear, so he just went back to teaching.

Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

Yo momma is so stupid, she saw an anime and started eating a live rabbit, and thought she would get powers!

Yo momma's so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a grocery list in her hand.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!

Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!

Why did I trip over your foot?

Because you were so short I couldn’t see you!

Yo mama so big, her belt size said "equator."

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looked in the mirror, it cracked.

Yo mama is so small that when she saw the Titanic, she called it the size of the Netherlands.

Your hairline is so far back that your forehead looks like a growing parasite!

Yo mama is so fat your dad could never get away.

Yo mama so fat, when she sits down she dislocates Earth out of its orbit.

They laughed at my drawing, so I laughed at their chalk outline.

My friend Josh made a joke about Liam's hairline, even though his ears are so big and his face looks like a monkey... if they were white.

I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.