SOS jokes

Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.

Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"

Why do orphans play GTA so much?

Because they can be wanted for once.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

That's what Elliot Rodger did.

My wife and I just decided we don't want to have children.

So if anyone wants them, our contact information is below.

I wish my nails were emo so that they would cut themselves.

A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"

She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"

He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."

Why do emo kids love dressing up on Halloween so much?

It's their last holiday for them, but at least they're still hanging on...

A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"

She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.

He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.

-E-

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.