SOS jokes

Yo mama so fat when she step on a scale it say, "To be continued..."

God, my dad got so pissed during 9/11.

All that work wasted.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Your forehead is so big that it couldn’t handle an acute angle.

Your forehead is so big you can smoke a cigar in the rain.

Your mama so fat, she walked by a TV and missed eight episodes.

The terrorists said over the intercom, "We're coming up to our destination, so we can't go over it, we can't go under, we have to go through it."

Why did the orphan go to church?

So they had someone to call Father.

Your hairline is so bent, the McDonald's logo hairline made fun of it.

-E-

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

I wish the grass in my backyard was emo so it would cut itself.

Yo mama is so fat that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl and a plate and ketchup to the red zone.

Yo mama so fat that she broke the scale when she put one foot on it.

It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!

Nobody really liked our fireplace.

So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

We are close to beating the world record of comments on this website (171). Right now, there are 155, so put more comments!

Why does it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years on C! Pirate: A, B, sea?

Chuck Norris is so immortal, even he killed Death.

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato clock.

The shop keeper said, "I don't know what a potato clock is."

The man said, "Me neither, but I'm starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9, so I'd have to get a potato clock."