SOS jokes

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator, the World Trade Center collapsed.

Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

Yo dad is so hairy, people chased him because they thought he was Bigfoot.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

Thank you guys for 6 whole followers! I'm so happy!

Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.

So, you're into pronouns? Let me she/them titties.

Yo mama so fat, the cops arrested her because she had 240 pounds of crack on her.

A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.

Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”

God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"

Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.

Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.

Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.

Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.

Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.

Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.

Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.