SOS jokes
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.
So this is how I got divorced.
On my birthday my boss, who was a hot sexy woman who I have always had an eye on her huge ass and tits, wished me happy birthday and took me to her house. She went into the shower and came out dressed and this made me disappointed. But then she stripped off and made my dick go into her pussy and before I could realize I heard her main door creak. And in came my wife, mum, and my 2 kids, 8 years old and 12 years old. Although my wife joined in, she was mad after since that was not my wife, that was my wife's twin sister. Do not know why woman these days are like this!!!!!!!!!!
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
My friend in a wheelchair is autistic and tried to fight me, so I said: "If you wanna fight me, I'll run up the stairs, and by the time you get up the stairs, I'll already be down the stairs waiting," and he started crying.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
Yo mama so fat, she likes long, romantic walks to the refrigerator.
Yo mama is so old that she was born on the first day the universe existed.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".
So I was just chilling in the World Trade Center, and I got airplane Wi-Fi. I wonder why....
Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.
Yo mama so fat she is the Google JavaScript loading.
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Your hairline is so bad it was used as the Starbucks logo!
Yo mama was so fat, the Earth was flat before they put your mama in a grave.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!