Someone jokes

Guy

Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.

Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!

Wait, what Billy?

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  • Stripper

    How do men like their women? Striped.

    How does a priest like their children? Clean.

    Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

    What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

    Mountain

    Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?

    Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.

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  • Orphan

    Someone went up to an orphan and asked him why he was talking to the air. He said he was talking to his mom.

    Memes

    Rape

    If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

    Orphan

    Why do orphans like to go to church?

    Because they can finally call someone "father!"

    Orphan

    Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?

    So they can call someone "daddy."

    Ring

    Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

    Ass

    *At A Funeral For Someone Who Jumped Off A Building* Victim's Mom: "I wonder what was the last thing that went through his head..."

    Me: "Honestly... Probably his ass."

    Conductor

    A conductor was conducting a song. At the end, he threw his conductor's stick and killed someone. He was put to the electric chair, but nothing happened. They asked why he didn't die, and he replied, "I'm a bad conductor."

    Violence

    A man was hitting a woman with his d*ck. Someone ran up to the man and said, "That's domestic violence!" The man replied with, "No, it's not domestic violence, it's dumbass-d*ck violence!"

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  • Life

    All my life I wanted to be somebody. I wanted to achieve something.

    Now, after messing up my life at every possible chance, I finally realize that what I really want is to have been someone after following through with one thing.

    Orphan

    Orphan jokes protest. Anonymous.

    Orphan jokes are just funny so stop trying to ruin our fun!

    Comments:

    Gwen: Stop! It is not funny. Orphans are just out their cold, weak, and need someone! And the jokes are not funny!

    Shut up: Shut up!

    Liv: Gwen stop!!

    Gwen: SHUT UP BITCH!!!!!!!!!

    Advice

    Small word of advice: Don't wait till next month or next year to do stuff with the people you love, because they may be gone by then. You don't realize, but every second there is someone who dies, and it just could be your loved one.

    Orphan

    Why did the orphan become gay? Because he wanted to call someone "daddy."

    Baby

    My wife is pregnant, but when we get to the doctors, something happened...

    What happened?

    Answer: The husband is pregnant too, with someone else’s baby, not the wife’s baby, but the wife is pregnant with his baby.