Size jokes
My friend said not to look down on me. I said I can't because I'm shorter than her.
Customer: "Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?"
Employee: "Ma'am, this is an adoption agency, you can't do that here!"
Your forehead is so big I could stand on it.
Your mum's so fat, she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck going down.
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
Your forehead is so big that you dream on IMAX.
Ur mom is so fat that when she came to the front door, she was already at the back door.
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Like if you're short.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.