Size jokes
Yo mama so fat, her birth certificate was an apology letter.
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Why do orphans hate family-size candy?
Because they can't share it with their family.
I got sent to the principal's office for giving an orphan kid a family-size pack.
Like if you're short.
Your mom is so fat that when she saw Moby Dick, she said, "We are family... even though you're bigger than me."
Yo mama so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Your mama was so fat that she sunk the Titanic!
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of Amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!
Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!
My friends' titties are bigger than my sakuras.
Why do midgets laugh while they run?
The grass tickles their balls.
Yo mama so fat, it took your dad eight years to come back with the milk.
Little Johnny meets Big Suzy.
Little Johnny and Big Suzy got together.
Little Johnny still regrets getting together with her to this very day.
The end.