What happens if you sit under a cow You get a pat an the head
yo moma so fat that when she sits she makes an 7.4 earthquake.
this guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to god please let me out it is too cold in here god is all confused there is a big fire in there the guy answers yes there is but you cannot get near it all the bishops cardinals and priests are sitting around it
Your mum is so fat when she was sitting on a scale the number couldnt even fit in the scale and came shooting out
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels she strikes oil. When she sits around the house she really sits around the house. Everytime she turns around it's her birthday.
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
Your hairline so bad that when your teacher puts you to sit in the front of the class, your hairline be all the way in the back
stan says shut the fuck up or sit your ass down on that bitch chair
There was a kid sitting in a corner me: HEY Why are you here at an orphanage orphan:... Me: oh wait YOUR a orphan
Momee Sits on My potty and sigs a soong aboat poup
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
You’re so short, you can swing your legs when you sit on a stool.
One day I was at church I had sit down I I. Said who in the world sink I 👀 down turns it was me and this not a joke but funny
Why don't people sit next to the cheatah during a test Because he's a cheatah
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down global warming starts.
Did you sit in sugar? Because you've got a sweet ass.
Jack quietly crawled through Jill’s bedroom window, trying not to make a single noise. She sat on her bed, her back facing him. Jack tiptoed up behind her, laid his hands on her shoulders and said, in a rather sensual tone,
“Boo.”
“Jack!” She yelled, “what are you doing here?”
Jack sat down next to her and smiled.
“I figured today was a good day to maybe go up to the hill?” He said.
“That sounds fun,” said Jill.
“C’mon, let’s go!”
The kids climbed down from Jill’s second story window. The frolicked around in the fields, hair swaying in the wind, as they neared the nearby hill. Jack took Jill’s hand, and they skipped up to the very top of the hill. They sat down on the bright green grass and giggled.
“You ready?” Asked Jack
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Jill replied with a wink.
Jack laid his hand on Jill’s chest, softly pushing her onto her back. He got down on his knees, and bent down to the bottom of her dress.
“I’ve waited a long time for this...” he whispered.
Jack slowly pulled up Jill’s dress with one hand, running the other up her thigh. His anticipation was building faster and faster. He looked her in the eyes as he slowly pulled down her panties. Once they were all the way off, he turned his head downward. His mouth opened, his eyes went wide. Jack was speechless. Before he could say anything, Jill slammed his head down, gagging him with her giant cock. She sat up as she slammed his head up and down. Jack began to feel dizzy as he gagged and coughed.
“Silly Jack, didn’t you know? I’m not Jill. I never was. My name’s Randy. You’re mine now, Jack. So sit back, enjoy the ride.” Said Randy.
Randy moved Jack’s head faster and faster as he threw his head back. It was coming, fast. All of a sudden, he stopped. Jack’s head stood still as his mouth became a fountain of white, drizzling all over Randy’s legs and onto the grass. Randy let go and Jack jumped back, spitting and trying to get it all out of his mouth. Just as the dizziness began to fade, Randy walked over. The last thing Jack saw was Randy’s fist hurtling towards him...
Why do people always talk about 9/11, but seriously just let it sit there, like the rubble it is.
So, a guy walks into a bar, and he tells the bartender, "After this last drink, I'm going to the roof to kill myself." A guy sitting next to him says, "I wouldn't do that if I were you.", in which the man replies, "Oh yeah?" So, they both take their shots and go up to the roof. The guy says "You're not gonna die, watch this!" He jumps off the roof and comes back up. The man rubs his eyes and tells him to go it again. He comes down and comes back up. The man says "Cool, let me try!", and he jumps down only to kill himself. The guy goes back to the bar, and the bartender says "Superman, you're an asshole."
