Sibling jokes

My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.

My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.

My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...

So I threw a carrot at her.

Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?

What's the hardest thing to do?

Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")

I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.

Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”

Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?

Sans: Measuring your patience.

Papyrus: Grunts

You learn from mistakes!

That's why you're an only child!

When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;

Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?

Bubbles:...

Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.

Alabama: 😈

My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.

Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?

Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.

Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?

They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.

My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.

At least now I can have his phone he left.

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.