Sibling jokes
My parents raised me as an only child, which really pissed off my sister.
My brother couldn’t wait for fall, so I tripped him.
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
What's the hardest thing to do?
Not kill your siblings. (Put the knives away ">:)")
I'm glad we're all going virtual so I can cuss in front of my class and blame it on my stupid siblings.
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
When I see the little brother in a video get everything, I try it and get grounded ;-;
You learn from mistakes!
That's why you're an only child!
My sister told me only onions make you cry, so I always hit her back when she hit me, but I hit her with a shoe only to catch her cry.
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies.
What's worse than that?
One's alive at the bottom.
What's even worse than THAT?
It eats it's way out.
Wait it gets worse...
It goes back for seconds.
Just one more I swear...
It fucks one of it's siblings at the bottom.
Step on your small sister's foot, she will always open her mouth like a dustbin.
Blossom: Why are we dating the Rowdyruffs when we're technically siblings?
Bubbles:...
Buttercup: I don't know, but those people over there are lookin' at us weird.
Alabama: 😈
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
What do my little brother and a vagina have in common?
They both ooze blood 🩸 when punched.
One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.
His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.
The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.
The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"
My brother finally got his driver's license, so he took our new car out for a spin.
At least now I can have his phone he left.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.