Me and my wife decided we would only smoke after sex.
I'm still on the first pack. She's up to 2 packs a week.
My wife is so ugly when she was born, the doctor said, "I did everything I could, but she pulled through anyways." When she was born, the doctor hung himself with the umbilical cord. He pushed her back in, said, "Not done." The doctor slapped her mother. The doctor looked at her and said, "Twins!" He didn't know what end to slap. He threw her away and kept the afterbirth.
My wife is so fat! She wears high heels, she strikes oil.
When she sits around the house, she really sits *around* the house. Every time she turns around, it's her birthday.
My wife is so fat. She buys her clothes at Tent & Awning!
My wife is so fat.
She asked me to get on top; I had to get a step ladder. When I got up there, my ears popped, and the air was so thin. I had to have two Sherpas drag me off the mountain.
My wife is so fat. She jumped up in the air and got stuck.
My wife is so fat, she gets home, her ass gets home a half hour later.
My wife is so fat, she gets weighed on the Richter scale.
My wife is so fat! When she goes swimming, she leaves a ring around the lake.
My wife is so fat! I took her to the Grand Canyon. She fell in and got stuck!
You are so ugly when ur mum dropped u off at school she got fined of littering
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
Yo mama so fat she sat on my dick and broke it
yo mama so fat when she falls 999 have to call a crane to pick her up
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
People call my blind friend dumb sometimes.
She can't see the obvious.
My grandma told me I was next at my brother's wedding, so I told her she was next at her husband's funeral.
Yo mama so fat she found the barrier to outer space
Yo mama so scary that the monsters have to look under the bed for her.
Yo mama so ugly that the monsters thought that she was their mother.
Yo mama so fat her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does
