Yo mama so fat her belly enters the room 10 minutes before she does
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: OOOWWWWW!!!! Get of me you overweight bucket of lard.
Your sister’s so short she needs to roll up her panties
Your mama so fat that when she sits around the house, she literally sits around the house.
yo mama so fat she fell over Nobody laughed but the ground cracked up
When is the only time Kamala Harris is using her head? When she is giving it.
We split because she used always say I never listen, or something like that
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
Friend: I broke up with Sara.
Me: I know, she came over and I screwed her hard.
Friend: How did her p*ssy feel?
Me: After about 2 inches, it felt brand new.
Friend: What do you— HOLD UP. WHAT TF IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!?!
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible
How did the pornstar cut herself while using a drill? She was to used to grabbing the tip.
As a son I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CCD. It was on speaker so me and mom hear both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
When you hear your mom’s car pull in the driveway and you remember that she told you to take the chicken out of the freezer 7 hours ago.
I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale I took my girlfriend to the beach and a marine biologist thought she was a beluga whale
*my mom telling me the brief history of the blanket and how she recieved it from her cousin* ( ╹▽╹ )
*Me sitting anxiously in place pretending to be amazed of the story, and reacting with kind cheerfulness and a big smile* (◍•ᴗ•◍)
All I can actually think about: "I m@sturbated under it- aaaaaah" ಠ◡ಠ
dont treat her like a gold pump when shes treating you like a grey pistol, put down a launch pad and rotate 💯
if her age is on the clock she can sit on my cock
Little Johnny saw his dad getting head from his mom. Johnny asked what they were doing and mom stopped and said she was fixing his dads pants. Little Johnny says "That explains what the lady next door was doing"
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly. I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking but she said she didn't want any. When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
