Shes jokes
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
Your mom checked for your hairline, but she could not find it.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
Bro, Asian girls have the weirdest names. I was, like, with one, and she kept on saying, "I'm too young."
Yo mama so fat, she was mistaken for Eric Cartman from South Park.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.
Yo mama is so stupid that she thinks fruit punch is a gay boxer!
My mom said if I'm awake playing Roblox still, she said she was going to bang my head against the keyboard. hxhdhduhxbsfj.
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved a battery up her butt and said, "I GOT THE POWER!"
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.
Your mama is so fat that when she went to run in a yellow jumpsuit, the kids thought they missed the school bus.
Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "To be continued."
My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"
*Me walking into the nail salon* Hi, I'm here for my 3:45 appointment.
*Nail tech:* Ok, sweety, come and sit down.
*Me sits down in the chair*
*Nail tech:* You want long nail, short nail? Um, long nail. You want boyfriend?!! Yes, ma'am. Ok, let me work magic. Ok.
*gives me short nail* Bro, I asked for long nail, but you said BF, but u look lesbian.
*walks out without paying*
*Nail tech gives money to a customer* There u win.
*customer:* I told u she would.
My friend jokingly confessed to me she did prostitution (consensual).
She wasn't joking. :0
We are 15....
A man is consoling his nine-year-old daughter after she had been sexually assaulted.
"You need to be more careful," he said as he wrapped his arm around her, "this time it was me, next time it could be a total stranger."
My friend went to buy some milk, why is she not back yet?