She Jokes

One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"

Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."

"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"

"Maybe it was a tricycle."

"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"

The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"

Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."

That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"

Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"

Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."

Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

Your mama is so ugly that when she walked in the bank, they had to turn off the cameras.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

a 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. her: " crap! my mom is going to kill me!"

the fetus : "lol same here"

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

Why did Queen Elizabeth II die? She forgot to heal after all those storms.

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?

Because she ran out of immortali-tea.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

What do you call the longest reigning monarch?

The queen? No, she dead.

Yo mama so fat, she was pulled over... FOR HAVING 12 POUNDS OF CRACK ON HER!

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Today, I had an exam in school. When I was done, I raised my hand and yelled, “Pisstiano Penaldo!”

My teacher smiled and took my paper. She knew I was finished.

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

My wife says sex is even better on holiday. I wish she didn’t tell me via email.

Yo mama so fat that when she went to take a crap... she couldn't even take a crap!

Tony's wife got a divorce from Tony. She said she wanted to be an independent woman.

Days later, Tony's wife had an accident. Guess who's crawling back for help. 💀

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”