Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault jokes

Rape

There are people who are beautiful, and then there are people whom I won't rape.

Rapist

Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?

Because they always like to come in a little behind.

Rape

A guy is on trial for leading a mob to gang rape a woman he'd taken out for a date. His defense is that he was helping her live out a fantasy.

The DA is furious and asks him WTF gave him that idea. He said, "After the date I took her back to her house, pulled out my dick, and tried to hand it to her. She told me, 'You've gotta be fucking kidding me. Seriously, go get some help!'"

Rape

If I were alone on an island with Camilla Cabello, and we were never going to escape, I'd rape her. I mean, what is she going to do? Tell someone?

Rape

A lady runs into a police station and yells, "Help, help! I've been graped!"

A police officer says, "Do you mean raped?"

The girl then replies, "No, there was a bunch of 'em!"

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  • Rapist

    90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

    Rape

    What do you say to a ugly girl who claims to have been raped?

    “Are you sure you didn’t rape him?”

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  • Rapist

    What did the female rapist say at her hearing?

    "Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"

    Microwave

    What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

    A microwave won't brown your meat.

    Blonde

    What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?

    "Can you show me what rape is?"

    Rape

    Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.

    Rapist

    What's the difference between a dog and a rapist?

    At least the rapist adds a bit of foreplay before he starts humping people.

    Rape

    If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?