Serve Jokes

Eric Marco
in Sport

What can you serve but never Eat. a volley ball

Anonymous
in Bar

A Weasle walks into a bar the bartender says “Wow I’ve never served a weasle before, what can I get you?” “Pop”, goes the weasle.

Miss Chandia

Hello miss Chandia here I want to tell you guys a joke what do jokes serve for desert

Anonymous😅🤣😂

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it ala-mond.

Anonymous
in Bartender

My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a “get well soon” card with each one of them!

Anonymous

In some places in the world, you can’t get an abortion even after rape. That’s so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

Anonymous

Can people please shut up about ‘male privileges’. There is no right that men have that women don’t.

Women have the right to genital integrity. Women can vote without having to sign up for the draft.

Women have the right to choose parenthood, men do not.

Women have the right to be assumed caregivers for children.

Women have the right to call unwanted, coerced sex rape.

Women have the right to lower jail sentences for the same crime.

Women have the right to not be assumed sexual predators.

Women have the right to government departments that solely serve their interests. They also have the luxury of “women only” events that men cannot even dream of. (They even took the boy scouts away from us)

Women have the right to government-enforced gender quotas

Women have the right to exclusive tax benefits for being a business owner.

Women have the right to domestic violence shelters

Women have the right to not be assumed the primary aggressor in a domestic depute

Women have the right to rape a man or boy and if she gets pregnant from that man/boy they can sue him for child support.

So it is women who have more rights.

So shut up feminists please.

Lowtiergod

Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I’m just gonna stomp you, you’re gonna keep coming back, I’m gonna seal up all my cracks, you’re gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You’re gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that’s covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.

Corrienne Strong
in Meat

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions …you must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate and you must never hold on to any beef . " The Angel then disappeared.  The man did as was told and became generous and kind …as he emerged from the betting office with all his money… he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person…each and everytime. He ,however couldn’t seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what .  When he died the Angel came back for him … “But I’m undeserving I can’t come with you” he said … “Yes you can” replied the Angel , “you gave all your stake ( steak) away”

Daniel King
in Angel

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake 🎂🥳

Sea

I’ll never forget my bosses last words: " We shall serve the best meat in our burgers! "

Anonymous

A TWELVE VOLT BATTERY walks into a tavern and orders a drink.The bartender serves him , and comments now don’t start anything .

Anonymous
in Swearing

A sandwich walks into a bar

Bartender says sorry we don’t serve food here

few jokes (sorry if they have already been used.) 1 I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall. 3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks. 4 It’s always windy in a sports arena. All those fans. 5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course! 6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your type here.” 7 What’s the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler. 8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights

GlitzyGlamGirl (GGG)
in People

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar… “GET OUT OF HERE!!!” The Bartender shouts we don’t serve your type!

Anonymous
in Woman

An autistic woman walks into a bar. “A serving of Screaming Banshee, please.” she says. The bartender says “Ok, you seem to like it, unlike a retired special ed teacher that passed through a few minutes ago.”

What year is it?
in Time

…the bartender then said “sorry, we don’t serve Timetravers here”.Two Timetravers walk into a bar…

Prankster prank phone calls.
in Funny

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week, I picked the not so big buisness and places to do pranks phone calls. Burger King. Jcpennys. and nighbors. I will tell you what I said. Me: "Hello this is…Zariana and I am from New York." Burger king staff: "Will we work in Florida." Me: "Good now I want a large cake with some salad…with some eggnog…and some baby food" Burger king: “We don’t serve any of that ma’am.” Me: "And I want it to go please!" Burger king staff: “Sorry ma’am we don’t ha- " And I hung up on him right before he could say have. Now JCPenneys ordering. Me: “Hello this is Trina from south carolina.” Jcpennys register: “Yes what can I don for you ma’am ?” Me: “Excuse me”? Jcpennys register: “I was asking if there is anything you need help with ma’am.” Me: “Sorry I can’t hear you…what!” Jcpennys register: “WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER MA’AM.” Me: “I still can’t hear you! Say that again!!!” Jcpennys register: “Ma’am can you hear correclty?” Me: “YES I CAN…NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!” Jcpennys register: “No ma’am I was just saying tha-” Hung up. Next one was on my nigbores. Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: “Hello, sorry to bother you but do you know what this word mean fhermkrekm”? Mrs. Jarkinson: “What who is this?” Me: “Ummm…Mrs. Keris!” Mrs. Jarkinson: " So what does what word mean again?’’ Me: " fnjfnjrfnjr!” Mrs. Jarkinson: “What!!!” Me: “fnjefnj” Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!! Me: “Never mind!” Hehehe! Hung up on here now Mr. Morris. Me: “Hola Sr. Morris. que pasa” Mr. Morris: “Sorry what I don’t speake spanish!” Me: “Está bien … di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!” Btw I used tranlater app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: “What does that even mean!” Me: “Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!” Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: “No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil … di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!” Mr. Morris: “Wait but what does tha-” I bet your wondering how I got these phone calls rememberd will I recorded them! I don’t how but I did. Btw Not spanish just learn really quickly.

Katie Mendoza
in Bar

A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says “Sorry. We don’t serve food here”