Serve jokes

Why does NASA only serve Coke?

Because they can't get Seven-Up!

I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

Women are only good for one thing, and that is serving as my good girl fuck toy.

Prank phone calls. I did this prank last week. I picked the not so big businesses and places to do prank phone calls: Burger King, JCPenney's, and neighbors. I will tell you what I said.

Me: "Hello, this is... Zariana and I am from New York." Burger King staff: "Well we work in Florida." Me: "Good, now I want a large cake with some salad... with some eggnog... and some baby food." Burger King: "We don't serve any of that, ma'am." Me: "And I want it to go, please!" Burger King staff: "Sorry ma'am, we don't ha-" And I hung up on him right before he could say "have." Now JCPenney's ordering.

Me: "Hello, this is Trina from South Carolina." JCPenney's register: "Yes, what can I do for you, ma'am?" Me: "Excuse me?" JCPenney's register: "I was asking if there is anything you need help with, ma'am." Me: "Sorry, I can't hear you... what!" JCPenney's register: "WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO ORDER, MA'AM?" Me: "I still can't hear you! Say that again!!!" JCPenney's register: "Ma'am, can you hear correctly?" Me: "YES, I CAN... NOW YOUR GOING TO BODY SHAME THEN I WILL GIVE YOU A 1 STAR RATTING!!!!!!" JCPenney's register: "No ma'am, I was just saying tha-" Hung up.

Next one was on my neighbors, Mrs. Jarkinson. Me: "Hello, sorry to bother you, but do you know what this word means: fhermkrekm?" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What, who is this?" Me: "Ummm... Mrs. Keris!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "So what does what word mean again?" Me: "fnjfnjrfnjr!" Mrs. Jarkinson: "What!!!" Me: "fnjefnj" Mrs. Jarkinson: SO SORRY WHAT!!!!!!! Me: "Never mind!" Hehehe! Hung up on her now Mr. Morris.

Me: "Hola Sr. Morris, que pasa?" Mr. Morris: "Sorry, what, I don't speak Spanish!" Me: "Está bien ... di que no me hagas caso, ¡solo necesito ayuda!" Btw I used a translator app and I learned really quickly! Mr. Morris: "What does that even mean!" Me: "Sí señor, veo dónde está su cabeza, pero ¿cómo se hace algún libro? ¿Me parece muy difícil? Jejejeje!" Mr. Morris: WHAT DOES THIS EVEN MEAN THOUGH!!! Me: "No señor, no se rinda en el primer intento de ballet! Debería ser fácil ... di de qué te quejas? Oh sorry I have to go!" Mr. Morris: "Wait, but what does tha-"

I bet you're wondering how I got these phone calls remembered, well I recorded them! I don't know how but I did. Btw not Spanish just learned really quickly.

Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"

The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."

Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."

What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?

Panera bread serving food.

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake! 🎂🥳

A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

The barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."

A time traveler walks into a bar.

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"

When a person went to a restaurant, they died once they were in. Three people were a suspect. Two were suspected because she served the food. Turns out, it was the food!

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

A twelve-volt battery walks into a tavern and orders a drink. The bartender serves him, and comments, "Now don't start anything."

What did Papyrus say when Sans served spaghetti to Frisk?

BONE-Appetit!

It’s too bad G won’t be able to follow in Kobe’s footsteps and rape a hotel employee but not serve one minute in jail.

Why did the rapper become a chef?

Because they love serving up HOT BEATS!

Here in IHOP, we serve pancakes, not pie cakes. If so, we can always bring in a chart that will power the customer. His smile will remain at its current form, and police surely resisted when I said the word "surely."

Kris looks like a Neanderthal. The only difference is that Neanderthals serve a purpose in HUMAN HISTORY.

If the minions serve whoever is the biggest bad, then who did they serve 1930-1945?