I’m gonna stop telling rape jokes....
They just seem so forced
What is an Orphans least favorite store?
Family Dollar, they just can’t seem to find one.
I have an EpiPen
Friend gave it to me when he was as dying
It seemed really important to him that I have it
Have you heard of the new book about Anti-Gravity? Well I just can't seem to put it down
I've looked everywhere... I just can't seem to find where I left my will to live
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset
Man, chocking on sugar seems like the sweetest way to die
Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Fatty told Skinyy "Do you have any food my stomach is empty and I haven't eaten" Skinny replied to Fatty "Well doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead"
I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job
A cop sees an old woman carrying two large sacks. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills.
The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money?"
She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. It became a problem because it kills the flowers."
The cop asks, "So what did you do about it?"
The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. When a golfer sticks his penis through the fence, I grab ahold of it and shout GIVE ME $20 OR IT COMES CLEAN OFF!"
"That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack?"
The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays..."
you look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if i give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
Someone butt dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house
Are you the voices I've been hearing? because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity I can’t seem to put it down
Jesus lives on a long time line, so he may seem slow to you.
I told an orphan that I watch Family Guy and he seemed disappointed so I reminded him that he has no family.
Ya forehead so big sakuras forehead seemed small
