me: im afraid of random letters
therapist: you are?
me: [screams]
therapist: oh i see
me: [screaming intensifies]
yo mommy so fat when she pulled out the chair it screamed and broke it's self
i went 80 mph on a school zone and one of the speed bumps screamed am i hallucinating?
I was working in a IPhone store in Norwich, when an man came! He said "Give me hat-trick or i will destroy your store!" I said "No" and he started to smash phones! I imidiatelly screamed "Important game" and he disappeared! Shame on you penaldo for ruining my store! 😡😡
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it? A puppy you dirty monkey 🐒
Nobody people on the titanic: * SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*
Man goes to a doctor says he's having problems shitting so the doctor gives him so enama and says he needs to do it a few times at home but does the first one for him so the guy bends over the table lubs him up and shoves it deep in him and he yells. so later the man goes home and tells his wife he needs her help with the enama so he bends over she lubs him up puts a hand on his shouler and she shoves it up there and he starts screaming and cussing and the wife asks did I hurt u? He said no I just realized when the doctor did it he had both hands on my shoulders
Why did the rapist go after the mute? It would be a SILENT ATTACK
I was at the bar late last night when a waitress screamed anyone know cpr? I said shit I know all the letters of the alphabet. Everyone laughed well except for this 1 guy
When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, i said: "Hey can i borrow that?" he says "yes" me over here walking to the cashier and saying: "goodbye" he screams: "HAVE MERCY!" I say: "No not to you, to me. say goodbye" he says: "No don't shoot yourself" it was to late.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity... She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.
What do an ice cream cone and a Ukrainian Orphage have in common?
Children scream when they melt.
dear doctor
ive heard its a good sign when women scream your first name during sex but recently women have been screaming my full name. its weird, i feel like im famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly Ray Palp
Last night I had sex and she said stop talking about shit omg and I made her scream so loud she said her balls Hurt...
Baby: Stroll? Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL! Baby: *happily screams* Stroller: *front wheels break off* Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS Baby: Oka- CRASH
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming parquor it's a failed stunt.
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.
I've recently been treated with Asthma and have been prescribed penicillin. One day I was taking it and a man screaming "SUIII" came into the room and stole it! He thought the penicillin would give him penalties. I couldn't breathe, shame on you Penaldo for ruining my life!
Why couldn’t Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens.
