How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What does Stephen hawking eat for his breakfast lunch and dinner
His shoulder
Stand? Wait. No.
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
Stephen Hawking walking, oops, he does not do that anymore.
What is Stephen Hawking best at in basketball?
dribbling.
When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he fell off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
Stupid joke about Stephen Hawking that wasn't funny the first fucking time.
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.
Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
