Why does Stephen Hawking only do one liners?
He can't do stand-ups.
Stephen Hawking, more like ice cream!
"Did you guys make sure Stephen was plugged in?"
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Stephen Hawking died because he rolled too far from the outlet.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.
How did Stephen Hawking die? His wife needed to charge her iPhone.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Stephen Hawking must have got a MacBook Pro. End of battery.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Stephen Hawking couldn't make it to Heaven because there were stairs, so he rolled down to Hell.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
Stand? Wait. No.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
