School shooting jokes
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised when I saw on the news that there was a school shooting in my shooting range. I don't know who snitched...
What song do you think was playing at the school?
"Pumped Up Kicks"
Why are all these pathetic jokes about school shootings?đ You all are so fucking pathetic... Humanity is officially gone, stupid bitches...
I was at a funeral for some kids in a school shooting. I donât understand why everyone was so sad, so I asked a lady, "whatâs so sad?" and she said, "What do you think was running through these kidâs head before they died?" I replied, "probably a bullet." She gasped and said, "do you have any idea how insensitive that is? What do you think is running through their parentâs heads?" I said "probably all the money they're losing from this funeral."
Where is the cheapest gun range? Your local public school.
Eric's mom asked her son why his bag was heavy and if it was because of books. Eric replied, "No, magazines."
What has more brains than a student in a school shooting? The wall behind them.
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
Whatâs an abbreviation for school in America?
Shooting range.
Jokes just as dead as the victims.
What was going through the student's heads during a school shooting?
Bullets.
A class is being taught when Bill Clinton walks in. He asks the class, "What is a tragedy?"
One kid, named Jim, raises his hand and says, "If my family and I got ran over by a truck, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies, "That would be an accident, not a tragedy."
A couple of seconds later, Audrey raises her hand and says, "If a school shooting would happen and 10 kids died, that would be a tragedy." Bill Clinton replies once again with: "That would be a great loss, not a tragedy." All of the kids are confused now when all of a sudden Matthew says, "If you and Hillary Clinton were on an airplane and it got blown up, that would be a tragedy!"
"Yes!" Says Bill Clinton "How do you know?" Matthew says happily, "It is definitely not an accident, and certainly not a great loss!"
What's black, white, and red all over?
Lossvagus school shooting.
The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.
*School shooting happens*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk*
American student: "First time?"
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
I went to the shooting range the other day. After a while, I realized I was the only one there. So, I decided to go home and saw on the news that there was a mass school shooting and there were reporters on the scene. Man, I knew I should have stayed around a little longer.