How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
If depression is going to be my girlfriend, will she leave me?
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
A cemetery should be built next to orphanages, so the orphans can see their parents.
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?
It left him hanging.
What made me laugh?
The fact that my life is a joke."
You wanna know what I want for Christmas? My dad to come back with the milk he said he was gonna get.
The depressed kid went to high five the tree... but the tree left them hanging.
What do you call a depressed emo? Dead.
So, my dad was drinking, so he was drunk, and I was sad. But can you be my friend, please?
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory, and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work.
Paddy agrees to tell Seamus' wife the bad news. He knocks on the door, and Seamus' wife answers. "What's happened, Paddy?" Paddy frowns. "I'm sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, I'm so sorry." She started to cry and asked Paddy: "Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, "No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
Me having a good day. Going on a walk on a peaceful day.
My depression: hey, what's up!
Me: go away.
My depression: well how rude.
Me: 🙄.
My depression: remember that one time......
Me: no, don't even.
My depression: that we.....
Me: nope.
My depression: *says really fast*: said that one stupid joke that wasn't funny and everybody just stared at you, and then you spilled water all over yourself and it looked like you peed yourself. And you went home and cried yourself to sleep just like you do every single night.
Me: 😳😶😟.
My depression: 😉 don't worry I'll always be here for you.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner, so he says "fruit ninja" with his wrists.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Looks like depression got the best of me! Don’t worry, I’m already going under.
Everything I fall in love with leaves me. Maybe if I fall in love with my depression, it'll leave me too.
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying, I asked her where her parents were. She cried louder. That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage.
What’s the difference between an apple and a depressed kid? The apple falls from the tree.
