A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What if death is hell because there is no bridge to heaven?
What do you call an animal in space? Just death because you need a spacesuit.
What do you do when you're sad?
Nothing, because you are just crying about something happening to you.
What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?
Panera Dread.
So, one day I have a wife, but if it's getting a longer day, she is moving so weird, and I see she has sex with Rick Astley. 😂 [rickrolled]
What will fall faster, an emo or an apple?
An apple, because the emo would get caught on the rope.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
What is the difference between an iPhone and an orphan?
An iPhone has a button to go home.
A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.
I just left him hanging.
How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Depressed procrastinators feel like they wanna kill themselves sometime soon.
My girlfriend is incredibly sad since her cat has disappeared.
I am quite sure now that I misunderstood something when she asked me to eat her pussy--and I am beginning to think that I did not get the "fuck her doggy" part either.
Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.
I gave her a shoulder to crayon.
What do you call a sad porno?
A tear jerker.
